top of page

Death Humor 4

Headstone reading "RIP"

​​When chemists die, they barium.


Dead kings get throne away.


Magicians simply disappear.


Dog catchers go astray.

​

When chauffeurs pass, they lose their drive.


Dead ranchers get deranged.


Composers simply decompose, while bankers are unchanged.

​

It’s said that swimmers have a stroke.
 

Mechanics are retired.


The end for human cannonballs is often when they’re fired.

​

Librarians, they just check out.


Shoemakers get the boot.


Old cows just kick the bucket, and dead owls don’t give a hoot.

​

When travel agents go they take a permanent vacation,


and dead cartoonists end up in suspended animation.

​

​

​

How is it that I always seem to buy the plants without the will to live?

​

I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.

​

My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.

​

I saw an ad for burial plots and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.

​

The Man Who Created Autocorrect Has Died. Resturant In Piece.

​

Think about it my friends.

​

Every single corpse on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person.

​

Stay lazy my friends.

bottom of page