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Death Humor 4

Headstone reading "RIP"

​​When chemists die, they barium.


Dead kings get throne away.


Magicians simply disappear.


Dog catchers go astray.

When chauffeurs pass, they lose their drive.


Dead ranchers get deranged.


Composers simply decompose, while bankers are unchanged.

It’s said that swimmers have a stroke.
 

Mechanics are retired.


The end for human cannonballs is often when they’re fired.

Librarians, they just check out.


Shoemakers get the boot.


Old cows just kick the bucket, and dead owls don’t give a hoot.

When travel agents go they take a permanent vacation,


and dead cartoonists end up in suspended animation.

How is it that I always seem to buy the plants without the will to live?

I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.

My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.

I saw an ad for burial plots and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.

The Man Who Created Autocorrect Has Died. Resturant In Piece.

Think about it my friends.

Every single corpse on Mt Everest was once a highly motivated person.

Stay lazy my friends.

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